自力更生就是克服恐惧

    74年的富县，有一个孤零的宝塔，顶还在，现在宝塔无顶了，像预示社会的信仰一样。

    富县的剧院是最大的，灯光楼直通剧院的正门楼顶，里面放了两排麦草，男人的被褥铺在上面，像集中营的通铺。每天早上，中午有两个教练，对付我一个学生，给我折腿，折腰，就是把我的腿压在我的头后面，把我的腰像后折，从两个大腿中间折出。两个教练一个姓韩，一个姓刘，简称【寒流】。我有时想，红岩里的国民党拷打共产党好像就是这样！这是跟班的痛楚，没有同学的安慰，晚上演戏我的任务是上到4层楼高的灯光楼上，给英雄人物打红光，给坏蛋打蓝光，每个灯有2000瓦，我像羊肉串被烤一样！这样，每天早上中午的泪水汗水，晚上的汗水交融在一起，还有尿频开始了！

    那天，有个老中医给陆老师看病，顺便给我看一下，老中医说：

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